My Funniest Garden
Experience (a true gardening
story)
By Faith Wright-Draper aka byfaithonly
Before I can share my funniest garden experience
I need to explain – I have over 30 years of
gardening experience. That said I have to say my
funniest garden experience was just this past
spring. Although at the time it did not seem
funny at all now, I for one can laugh at the
whole situation.
Spring started like any other spring in Michigan.
Rain one day sunny the next, warm then cold,
seldom knowing what to expect until the day was
on us. On the nicer days I spent sun up to sun
down preparing the area where the garden would
be. It was a newly tilled space about 100 X 100
feet which meant lots and lots of weeding and
hauling rocks. On the in-climate days I planned
what to plant and had a good idea of where
everything would go and how many plants.
During that time I also set about starting many
of my garden plants inside because of our short
growing period. I would soak seeds in my version
of seed starter dishes – a paper plate with
2 sheets of paper towel inserted in a gallon size
plastic bag. The seeds go between the pieces of
paper towel which is dampened (don’t close
the bag just slide the plate in) and label the
bag with what type of seeds are inside. I checked
my ‘seeds’ almost daily.
Once the seeds sprouted they were then
transferred to small pots containing potting soil
and placed in a sunny window. A few things had to
be transplanted again before the fear of frost
pasted but for the most part they were happy and
doing well in the plastic 6 pack holders I have
saved from previous years of buying already
started plants. Watering and turning daily I had
a good start on my garden.
Ok, I can hear you saying now, “This
doesn’t sound funny – it sounds like a
lot of work.” Well, it was. Lots and lots of
work, sweat, and tears but I love gardening,
working the soil, and dreaming of the fresh
fruits and vegetables to come from my efforts.
One concern in Michigan with gardening is always
the animal life of the wild nature: moles,
squirrels, raccoons, and most damaging deer which
we have in our backyard almost daily. My landlord
fenced the garden area, I ran yellow caution tape
around the area – yes, Michigan deer are
smart and can read ‘Caution Do Not
Enter’ (really they don’t like the
noise the tape makes when the wind blows or the
color yellow). What I did not take into
consideration were the 50 some free range
chickens that house just a few yards from my
garden.
If you don’t know, free range means they
come and go as they like including over the fence
that was meant to protect them from chicken
killers such as raccoons and opossum. This also
meant they had access to my garden and they did
take advantage of my generous plantings. Yes, I
planted and the chickens dug, I planted and they
dug again. What they seemed to like most were the
birdhouse gourd plants which ended up being
planted 3 times before I convinced the chickens
to leave them alone.
I tried a scarecrow, I made a second scarecrow
dressed in my cloths and sprayed with my perfume.
I really thought that would work as the darling
creatures didn’t go near the garden when I
was there. They waiting, I know they were
watching from the chicken coop to see when I went
in the house. Next I tried more caution tape
placed lower down, at the chicken’s eye
level. That didn’t work either. When that
failed I went for the hose – I would hide
waiting for me to venture out of their area and
spray them with the garden hose.
After figuring out that the chickens were posting
guards in the trees and warning the garden
raiders when I went near the hose I resorted to
my last idea. I planted seeds and over each seed
placed a plastic gallon juice bottle with the
bottoms cut out. My mini-greenhouses not only
kept the chickens off my plants but also seemed
to help the seeds sprout faster and the plants
grow faster. The garden did look funny for a time
though – spotted with those plastic jugs and
bare ground.
Also, every time I go to throw some bad tomatoes
or cantaloupe with soft spots, or corn
that’s past it’s prime over to the
chickens I think to myself, “after all the
hassle you gave me in the spring you really
don’t deserve this one bit’ they do
however continue to give me a nice supply of
fresh eggs to eat, give away, and even sell so I
forgive them and give them a treat. And, I am
laughing at what is now to me my funniest garden
experience.
| Faith Wright-Draper (aka
byfaithonly) has been writing for over 40
years as a journalist, ghostwriting, and
freelancing. She currently writes for
several blogs, freelances, and on her own
website www.byfaithonly.com
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