by faith alice

I would like to share my story with you, I'll try to keep it as brief as possible and I want you to know I am not doing this looking for "pity" although any and all prayers are welcome. Eight years ago I filed for divorce after learning that my husband at the time was abusing my children while I worked in a factory 40-72 hours a week to help support our family. My own pride would not let me apply for "public assistance" so I continued working in a dead-end job that I hated, shuffling children from sitters, to daycare, to older siblings. We did without a lot, not many "extras" in our house. Entertainment for us was often the older "boys" tying pillows around themselves and acting like sumo wrestlers. Or the time we didn't have a million fireworks like the neighbors so one of the "boys" got up on the peak of the house and with the stereo blaring classical music, the street light to his back he put on a "human" fireworks display by his actions. - - - you had to be there to truly appreciate it but it made us all laugh and laughter is great medicine. We had a roof over our heads, food on the table, and although there were many an argument I think in my heart that we all knew that we had each other when the going got rough.

Time passed, my daughter elected to go live with her father where there were few rules or guidance, oldest son on his own and starting his own family, second son in the United States Air Force. A little over a year ago it seemed like just when things should be getting better they only got worse. The company I worked for 9 years shut down, I had taken some college computer courses and acquired a job in an office which I loved but didn't have the "over-time" to add extra funds. As I had for years I couldn't bring myself to ask for help but when I did it seemed the people who I had bent over backwards to help were too busy with their own "things". My youngest son, 8 at the time, was having major problems in school. I was getting calls weekly concerning behavior and discipline problems. The school insisted that he was A.D.D. hyperactive, yet this was a child that could set for hours and concentrate on a video game or watch a television show. This voice in my head kept telling me there was something wrong with people who were preaching "Say No to Drugs" were the same people who were lining kids up in the office to hand out drugs. I fought and fought the system, missed work repeatedly because of school suspensions, no transportation (he got kicked off the bus), plus add to that car problems and illness of my own....

After a nervous breakdown, a lot of praying, and even more guts or stupidity I quit my job (I was on the way to being fired for poor attendance anyway) with the intention of starting an Internet business. I had no idea on earth where to start but I knew if there was a way I would find it. God did bless me with a contract labor job with the school which I do from home and at the same time find time to do research, try different things, and pray even more. My son in the meantime has not been a perfect angel and we've had our struggles but
is NOT taking drugs.

One of the things I really noticed this last year is how starved for attention. Not just children of single parent families either. At the first of the year the principal thought it might help if I "dropped in" at school unannounced to "check on" Shane. The thinking was that this would embarrass him into behaving. Well, it back fired, not only did he love me coming to visit but so did many other children in the class. When I appeared at the door class was disruppted and we finally had to work a deal between, kids and teachers. When I came in they had to pay attention until the teacher finished, bless her heart she always finished up or changed tasks so they had some time. I would be bombarded with what they were working on, what they had done, shown cuts and scraps, and "caught up on" what so and so had done recently. When I would get ready to leave there was always a round of ohs and requests for me to come back in the afternoon or the next day. I tried to keep my visits to once or twice a week but they wanted more. One little girl in the class who was labeled "the worst kid in class" gave me her phone number on a piece of paper one day and asked if I would call her sometime. Now tell me, are these kids getting the attention they NEED? Is it any wonder that so many are turning to gangs for attention? It's only my opinion but I think today's children could live without the fancy cars, boats, and vacations but truly NEED the attention of positive role models be them parents, teachers, grandparents, church members. It's amazing what just a simple little half hour a day spent playing on the floor with or sharing an interest in their game or activity can do, not just watching them but getting in and DOING with them.

You may also want to visit this page and read the story of
what measures a child will go to for a parent's attention.
"Twenty Dollars Per Hour"

Keep Our Children Safe on Line
and
Help Stop Child Abuse